Oboe up close with fingers on keys
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Gabriel’s Oboe

by Emma Laurence

I adore the sound of woodwinds. On my very best nights, I’ll hear something similar to a far off oboe, drawing me towards it as I drift off to sleep.

Gabriel’s Oboe has been performed by many musicians, on a variety instruments. Yet, it’s Henrik Chaim Goldschmidt whose playing makes my heart soar on sound.

Pause and listen through to that final high note (4 min):

To me, this version of Ennio Morricone’s Gabriel’s Oboe embodies the art, feeling, and grace of music.

Why is it that music played by a certain person opens our hearts? It can be music of any style, yet the vibration resonates deeply when that individual begins to play.

Who’s your person?

This phenomenon, perhaps explained by the physics of resonance, also occurs with the voice of someone we love. We may awaken to the fact poignantly when our loved one has been away, and we hear that unique sound once again.

“It’s just great to hear the sound of your voice,” my husband and I said recently when we were finally able to talk to a friend in the hospital.

Someone’s sound is not just words. The music of your child’s laughter may open your heart. My cat makes a certain meow, a tiny throat trill, that I find most endearing.

Whatever the music that warms and uplifts you, listen today.
Be grateful for that sound. It’s not forever.

That is living as music.

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Riding the rhythm, the Nicholas brothers best tap dancers of all times shown here in mid-air
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Riding the Rhythm

by Emma Laurence

Two of the greatest tap dancers who ever lived, the Nicholas Brothers, bring fresh, dynamic, awe-inspiring expression to riding musical rhythm.

As if born in synchronicity with each other and with big band music, these gifted dancers fly. Pause now to experience their surprising story, sound, and way of riding rhythm (less than 2 min):

The Brothers’ level of rhythmic genius is precise, acrobatic, and fluid. Can you hear/feel their tap shoes matching the beat of the music?

Most impressive to me is the joy with which the Nicholas Brothers dance to a song they didn’t even like! Yet, they found a way through their love of music and dance.

That’s inspiring—and gives us a key to navigate more easily.

When the soundtrack of our lives turns sour, we can sweeten the discord. The Nicholas Brothers offer an image of moving gracefully and playfully in a distasteful situation.

We may be frustrated by our current job, ending a relationship, having to relocate cross country, or facing a real health concern. Whatever the story, for the moment we’re in a tough time.

Let’s remember the Nicholas Brothers and lean into the rhythm, find something in the song we can dance to and be inspired to stay light on our feet.

Bring the best we can, given the circumstances, without self-judgment. The song won’t last forever. We, too, can be riding the rhythm, tapping lightly.

That is living as music.

P.S. Want to see the Nicholas Brothers as kids? check out their Lucky Number “audition”



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Human Sonar

by Emma Laurence

When you feel you’re in the dark and can’t clearly see a path forward, use sonar to navigate. How so?

Creatures like whales, dolphins, and bats use sound frequency and echolocation to navigate towards food, away from predators, and into the free, open sea or air.

Pause now and experience the amazing song of whales and dolphins (less than 1 min.):

You can call on your intuition, gut instincts, and spiritual perceptions. These are human sound frequencies that allow us to use vibration to feel our way forward.

When your vision is blocked by fear, or you feel lost and disoriented, try not to panic. Literally vibe it out. Drop your attention into your gut, check in with your intuitive spider sense, or open your inner hearing.

For example, wondering which of two choices is best?

Your answer may come through the words of a friend’s passing comment, or a visceral letting go in your belly when you consider one option over another. Hearing and sensing are both vibrational phenomenon.

Sound frequency exploration, like human sonar, can bring guidance, wisdom, and protection.

Through sound, we can still navigate life with greater ease, even when we can’t see clearly.

That is living as music.

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Milky Way Symphony

by Emma Laurence

Music is alive in the universe. Are we listening?

NASA scientists paired with musicians to turn a photograph of the Milky Way into music by matching light wavelengths to sound wavelengths.

An expert in astronomy visualization collaborated with several musicians to create this musical interpretation of a photograph from the Chandra X-ray Observatory.

Pause now and experience the symphony (1 min.):

How are you changed by listening?

I believe experiencing galactic music can help us navigate more easily. As we face daily challenges by growing bigger, wider, deeper—expanding our awareness out into space—our problems shrink.

We can be awed and comforted by our galaxy’s music rather than fixating on petty annoyances or becoming overwhelmed by true suffering.

We are not alone, but live amidst an infinitely larger, more beautiful sound. Blessedly, we are a part of this stardust. Doom and gloom are not the only realities that exist.

Today, you can listen for the sound behind all sounds in daily life. Pause to hear bird songs, a firetruck siren, or your loved one’s voice as part of this universal music.

Know that the Milky Way ever sings its lullaby to humanity.
That is living as music.

P.S. More amazing NASA collaborations in music:
https://www.system-sounds.com/nasa/

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Claim Your Creativity: Burnout to Brilliance

by Emma Laurence

Exhaustion or inspiration? Life beyond burnout is far more fun! So, let’s look at how claiming your creative play and power build a joyful, sustainable life.

Am I saying that creative arts help us thrive beyond burnout? Absolutely. But, I’m also referring to the innate creative ability within each of us, as individuals, to bring our dreams to life.

Burnout’s Gift

The overwhelm, deep fatigue, and even draining despair of burnout comes from constantly pushing beyond our work capacity. Like an overloaded donkey, we can barely navigate the narrow streets of our daily life.

We all agree; this is not a healthy lifestyle. Yet burnout’s gift is a loud call to action from our creative self. Burnout shouts, pay attention!  It asks:

  • Are you living in alignment with who and what you most value?
  • Do you want to be crushed under the weight of life-as-you-know-it?
  • Or do you want health, joy, and freedom to enliven your every step?

Our creativity—both play and power—establishes a strong foundation of well-being and wisdom.

Is Your Creative Play on a Shelf?

Creative play primes the pump for a flow of vitality that never burns out. Let’s invite this precious part of you to come out of storage.

I believe that creative flow once came so naturally to us that we didn’t require labels or permission. We simply immersed ourselves in activities that brought joy. As adults, it’s harder to keep that channel open.

Did you used to paint, sing, or play dress up? Maybe your creative self went bike riding, running in the hills with the dog, baked cupcakes, danced in the rain, read books, took pictures, or designed a new game.

Right now, though, are oils and acrylics gathering dust in your attic? Journals boxed in a closet? Has your guitar become relegated to wall art?

Time to pick up the paint palette, grab the guitar by the neck, and put on those dancing shoes. Pull out the half-finished book of recipes, pump up the tires on your bike, and head for the hills.

Embrace your sense of timeless play and watch your energy transform into joy. You’ll be activating the necessary vitality to thrive beyond burnout.

Reclaim Your Creative Power

Creativity is not only artistic expression.
It’s also the essence of our being—our powerful core.
Think coeur, the French word for heart.
Or shinbashira, the central pillar of a pagoda that ensures
its resilience against earthquakes.

As an innately creative individual, you have tremendous power. Power to bring something extraordinary out of nothing, to blend ingredients in novel ways, to explore horizons beyond your wildest imagination.

Creativity is enlivening, giving, and often seeks to be shared. It also keeps us balanced and sane.

While arts are a channel to express the beauty, pain, ever-changing love, and challenge of human living, activating our creative core enlivens the journey overall.

This is when the real fun begins—just one brush stroke at a time.

Listen to Your Dreams

Dreams are creative visions of what / where / who we’d love to be. They resonate with the harmonic vibrations that allow us to rise ever upwards. Without them, we stagnate and lack direction.

How do you treat your dreams? As ethereal, impractical hopes-to-be-dashed?
Or as a parallel universe waiting to be activated?
The grounded one, where you’ve already built your heart’s most generous desire.

I come from the latter perspective, which is why I’m a coach. I firmly believe that by choosing to claim our creative power, we cross a threshold. We embark on a transformative journey to bring to life dreams that already exist within us, fully formed and realized.

Activate Your Dreams

A doorway “magically” appears when you say, I invest in my creative ability. It’s one you didn’t notice when you walled yourself in, trying to meet demands and expectations of everything and everyone around you.

Now, you can begin to play with life. You begin to perceive the presence of gifts that have been patiently waiting for you to believe that your dreams are within reach.

Sound mystical? Maybe. Or maybe it’s the gift of creativity that makes visions real.

So, how do you activate the dream? You pause.
You choose to gradually, playfully, and practically mold your daily life into the embodiment of your dream.

The vision takes over your imagination while ‘pragmatic you’ takes action
through necessary micro-steps that ground you.

Daily life gently transforms into an architectural masterpiece—a real version of the dream you hold dear.
You’re a long way from the burnout shell you chose to leave behind.

And, as you build, you dance while you put away the dishes, doodle while you’re on a Zoom call, and sing in the shower. Just for joy.

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Burnout Support

Beyond Burnout: Your Exit

by Emma Laurence

Burnout signals a need for realignment in how you do work. Yet, if you’re poised on the edge of leaving your job, you may be too crispy fried to even look at an exit strategy.

When you’re overwhelmed or exhausted, considering an exit is, in itself, an act of courage.

Maybe you feel you don’t have a choice. A vision or dream won’t let you go. Or, you can’t tolerate the pace or company culture of your day-to-day grind. What do you do then?

If you choose to surround yourself with support and take the big leap, this may help.

What to Expect in Phase One

Wouldn’t it be lovely if your transition lands you in a parallel reality—one where you enjoy your lucrative life’s work?

It’s not exactly magic, but a significant shift does happen when you leave a good-paying but ill-suited job for an uncertain future.

At first, it may feel like floating. You don’t quite know what to do with yourself. I notice with clients that this untethered feeling passes naturally and fairly quickly.

An essential step is setting a clear intention for joyful, sustainable work. Even if you don’t have a future vision yet, this simple focus can carry you for a while.

Your daily attention shifts. You spend time exploring new opportunities, tending previously neglected chores and relationships, or even recovering from burnout.

It’s OK to give yourself permission, space, and time for a smooth transition in this phase.

 A Beyond Burnout Exit Story

A brilliant Millennial, whom I’ll call Ruby, came to coaching burned out from her high-paying but soul-draining job in the tech industry. Her decision to be true to herself and leave her job ushered in transition phase one.

Ruby began to unwind and recover from burnout while making plans to move out of state. The move would provide a supportive community.

We began exploring her options in the non-profit sector and clarifying her long-term goals in writing and art. A part-time job more aligned with her values would fuel a full transformation to her life’s work.

Ruby is in phase one of her transition beyond burnout. She’s already so much happier! She shifted her pace and restructured daily life in harmony with her natural rhythm.

Finding joy, humor, and play again enlivened her sense of adventure.

Support to Exit

We often crave freedom when leaving a day job that no longer suits us. If that’s you, play with the possibility that you can gather support and exit. If you’d like to chat with someone about your options, I’m here for a free Clarity Conversation.

I love the Rumi quote, Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.

Does it make you wonder what you’d do if you knew that to be true?

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Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash

picture of author as example of self-trust
Inspiration

3 Ways to Build Self-Trust

by Emma Laurence

With all the external voices clamoring for our attention, it’s easy to get knocked off center. Our best recourse is to build self-trust. We can turn within, listen more deeply, and follow our own inner compass.

How can we trust ourselves amidst noise, burnout, and disillusionment? I’ve made a study and would like to offer three ways to build the kind of self-trust that’s unshakeable. In the comments, I’d love to hear yours.

Seek and Follow Inner Guidance

The best starting place is to actively seek inner guidance. No matter what our spiritual beliefs, the practice is the same—we ask a higher being, consciousness, or self for insight.

This simple act opens our heart and mind to receive answers that are right in front of us—the ones we haven’t seen simply because we’ve been closed.

A relaxed mind and heart receives messages. Inner silence allows us to hear. If even in the slight pause between thoughts, or the very first early morning minutes, we can find receptive quiet.

Sometimes guidance comes in a flash, in the split second that we’re presented with a decision. We know.

In early 2020, I attended a birthday party held in an entertainment center. The cake served was gluten free. I almost never eat cake, but this was a celebration! And it was my favorite flavor—chocolate with vanilla icing.

I ate a piece. I wanted another. My inner voice was clear that this wasn’t a good idea. But I ate it anyway. Turned out the increased sugar intake lowered my resistance to getting sick. Before Covid was publicly known, I got the virus. After that you can bet I became more committed to following my inner voice.

We build trust by proving to ourselves that we will honor and act upon the higher guidance. Even if our choice turns out to look like a mistake, at least we stayed true to ourselves.

Keep Agreements to Yourself

Most of us know how important it is to keep our word with others in both personal and professional relationships. Our word is our bond. When it comes to making agreements with ourselves, we can use the same principle to build or restore trust.

First, it’s important to take care when choosing our agreements. I could never commit to working out at the gym, for example. It’s not enjoyable, and I won’t keep to such a promise. However, I find pickleball a blast! I can keep my agreement to myself to exercise every week because I’m having so much fun with a wonderful group of players.

Any new habit takes time to ramp up. What will ensure that we can stay on course? Asking ourselves this question in advance means we’ll have a better chance of building self-trust. Yes, we mean what we say.

We can also be flexible and compassionate if life changes and we simply cannot follow through.  Self-trust is also build when we stop and take care of ourselves if that’s the right course of action.

Never Throw Yourself Under the Bus

When I was in a major life turning point, a dear friend said to me, No matter what, don’t turn against yourself. This is what I mean by throwing yourself under the bus.

We need to be our own champions, standing by ourselves no matter what anyone else says or does. That means we give ourselves permission to grow even if our mistakes are public ones.

Our commitment, presence, and confidence in ourselves to learn and grow are great ways to build self-trust. It’s like our higher self telling our human self, I’m here for you no matter what. I’ll never shame you for learning, even if it looks ugly.

This skill is essential when we’re challenged by other people’s opinions or judgments. If we want to please others too much, we’ll toss ourselves under the wheels. What if, in the face of criticism, we instead help ourselves stand tall with dignity and grace?

The Biggest Picture

We’re all here learning. We do the best we can. Building self-trust means we increasingly navigate daily life with more peace, harmony, and enjoyment.

And even when we can’t seem to trust ourselves, we can trust life. How? Those messages we’ve asked for from a higher being, consciousness, or self are still active even when we can’t hear fully. As long as our heart is true and our commitment is clear, life will help us find our way.

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The Hidden Gift of Burnout

by Emma Laurence

If you’ve ever left a job due to burnout, the last thing you want is to repeat the cycle of exhaustion and overwhelm. Whether you dive into a job search or join millions of new, hopeful entrepreneurs, you must do things differently.

Where to start?

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge an uncomfortable, yet freeing, fact. Burnout is not something done to us. We’re not its victims. We burn ourselves up from the inside out.

That’s good news! Because otherwise, we’re powerless. And we’ll miss the gift.

Beliefs Become Limitations

Like auto-pay, burnout is a repeated withdrawal from your energetic bank account. Every month, the charge appears, until you take charge.

One way to break free is to watch for beliefs lying just beneath your awareness. Thoughts that drive you without your conscious consent wreak havoc.

Consider a popular societal belief that the single most important value in life is measureable outer achievement. Prove that you’re existence-worthy through tangible results. Get a college degree, gain employment, manifest a family, or become famous, and you have value. In other words, you have to do something in order to be somebody.

What a powerful limitation on the value of an individual! What if the fact of your existence itself makes you worthy? Maybe you contribute to the world through your bright beingness or your quality of compassionate attention. Claiming your intrinsic value first may be what allows you to do great things.

A Hidden Gift Story

A client I’ll call Janice (not her real name) left a high-pressure job in academia when demands got unbearable. She’d burned out. Janice left without a plan, but knew her health had to come first.

Months later, she brought a push/collapse work habit with her into a new venture. Pushing through 10-12 hour days, she’d collapse right after dinner. Janice overwhelmed and depleted herself, again. How could this be when she was finally focused on work she loved?

Janice’s daily rhythm wasn’t honoring her top priority of vibrant health. This time, her excitement drove her too fast and hard. Adrenal exhaustion, insomnia, mental obsession, and hormone imbalances signaled a constant fight-or-flight pattern.

Janice addressed the long-term physical effects of burnout. Meanwhile, she replaced the old push/collapse rhythm with a steady, slower burning pace. We worked on micro-practices—small actions that built a solid support structure for her business’s foundation. Now, her dream is growing at a steady, sustainable rate while her health remains strong.

The gift of repeated burnout taught Janice how to balance her life in alignment with her primary values. She gained a new appreciation for the building blocks of successful structure.

Burnout’s Hidden Gift

Accepting shadowy beliefs is one way we forget who we are, drive ourselves to distraction, and burn ourselves up. We want to know we matter. So, we’ll push to keep pace with the world’s chaos rather than slow to our own natural cadence. If we fall asleep to burnout habits, our bodies and sanity pay the price.

So, this is burnout’s hidden gift—the rare opportunity to stop, and be absolutely sure we’re in alignment with our living truth as we grow and our priorities change.

Take the opportunity to free yourself from the inside out. Be grateful that life has shown you what’s not sustainable, so you can learn what is.

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The F.O.G. Machine

by Emma Laurence

I first experienced a fog machine during a college performance of Camelot. This special effect apparatus sits in the wings and blows a chemical mist onto stage at the actors’ feet. Despite its artistic appeal, I can still feel the dry throat and smell the chemical odor of theatre fog.  A different kind of F.O.G.—Fear, Obligation, and Guilt—clouds our joy of living in much the same way. These feelings blow in during personal dramas that trigger our inner F.O.G. machine.

All the World’s a Stage

We’re all familiar with daily life triggers. A co-worker criticizes our performance on the team, a loved one disapproves of a choice we make, a social media comment questions our values. And, bam! Before we know it the machine has kicked in.

All our hours of yoga, meditation, or self-care go out the window. As if on cue, the mechanism powers up, sending clouds of fear, obligation, or guilt into our former sunny consciousness.

Personally, I’m well versed in the drama queen art form. As a kid, my mother used to tell me that I’d have to learn not to be so upset by my grandfather’s or my brother’s taunts. If you don’t react, she’d say, they’ll stop teasing you.  She was probably right, but hey at six years old, I had no skills to stop spontaneous tears.

The F.O.G. Machine Exercise

As an adult, though, I have several tools to release F.O.G. once I’ve been triggered. One technique is the creative use of visualization.  For example, the fog machine image came to me while navigating a fearful challenge. So, I decided to use the metaphor as a launch point for an inner creative exercise.

I sat down, closed my eyes, and calmed my heartbeat. As I entered the worlds of my imagination, I saw myself in the wings of a large performance space. Just ahead, a tall, emaciated man with wide eyes pushed hard and fast on a machine’s lever, spewing F.O.G. everywhere. I walked over and asked him what he was doing. His eyes filled with panic. This is my job, he said. I have to keep doing my job! It was as if his boss would torture him if the fog stopped flowing.

I wanted to stop the fog. But to do so meant letting go of the outcome, and choosing to be a compassionate presence for the machine’s operator.

After a time, I asked if he’d like some water. As if in a flash of awakening, he suddenly seemed to consider that maybe he, of himself, was not a machine. Silently and gradually, he slowed his pace. Eventually, he returned my gaze and nodded.

We walked to a nearby table set up with water, fresh fruit, and other snacks.  He took the smallest portions, but he did eat. As we talked, he revived a little, gaining some color in his cheeks.  I told him he no longer needed to run the machine, that I was the boss now, and I happily set him free.

Have you ever experienced how a scenario within your imagination can impact your breathing, blood pressure, muscle tension, and frame of mind? My body relaxed deeply as I came out of this exercise. I felt a sense of peace. I saw my problem in a completely new light, and I saw a simple solution.

Dismantle the Machine

What would your image be for the mechanical nature behind fear, obligation, or guilt? What if you used this to your advantage? Maybe you could slow the revved up engine, shift into a lower gear, or take over as computer programmer of your mind.

When we decide how much F.O.G. were willing to tolerate, we’re also free to clear out the rest. Fear, obligation, and guilt need not pollute our inner atmosphere. We can choose a different kind of mist to artfully beautify a dramatic moment. Or, we can compassionately dismantle the machine.

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Photo from miriamruthross.wordpress.com; Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away

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Please Don’t Share Your Genius

by Emma Laurence

In recent years, a personal growth wave has swept our country. It’s almost a mandate to discover and share your genius with the world. The assumption is that you have something you do better than anyone else, and that you must share this in order to be happy and successful. While this belief is a step up from treating humans as cogs in corporate machinery, is it really growth? I’d like to stand in a different viewpoint and say, please don’t share your genius.

Your Genius, Your Purpose

Akin to this popular directive of self-discovery and actualization is the challenge to live your purpose. Oh, my, what pressure! What if I can’t find my purpose? Do I have only one? And if I were to find this supposed purpose, how would I live it? How could I be sure I was living my purpose?

The path of purpose can produce a land mine of self-doubt. Within the wholeness of life, a single, narrow self-definition breeds a sense of failure. How many people do you know who’ve articulated their purpose in words? If you can’t, does this mean that you’re not giving to the world? Do you not have a right to exist if you don’t know and follow your bliss? Or are you destined to struggle, always seeking and never finding?

Yikes. I prefer the viewpoint articulated in the Disney movie Soul. In the Great Before, one of the teachers quips back to the lead character, oh you humans and your purposes. In fact, by the movie’s end we learn through the character of 22 that even your spark—your passion—isn’t your purpose. Gerry says:

A spark isn’t a soul’s purpose! Oh, you mentors and your passions. Your purposes, your meanings-of-life. So basic.

So what’s beyond genius and purpose?

Being Truly and Wisely You

I believe you can live a lifetime of service by being truly and wisely you—true to your own heart, values, and gifts. Maybe you don’t need to light the world on fire, or light your hair on fire, or solve some problem that no one’s been able to solve.

Maybe you don’t need to measure yourself or others by your impact on the world, another buzzword that’s become a determining factor in the value of a human life.

I’m not saying that high-level creativity, innovation, and action aren’t necessary and wonderful. In fact, this kind of limit pushing can move humanity forward. Consider, though, how many people it takes to support one genius of this nature.

Another Disney film, Encanto, tells the story of a family whose members each possess a magical gift, except the youngest, Mirabel. Mirabel faces vulnerability and self-doubt.  Yet, her lack of superpower, her normalcy, turns out to be more than valuable in serving her community.

Could all those helpers who live quiet lives outside the limelight have just as much ‘value and impact’ as those whose achievements lead to stardom?

A co-worker of mine started knitting just for enjoyment. At the time, all the cool knitters were writing blogs and knitting socks. Beautiful, intricate socks. So, she tried knitting socks, and she wasn’t any good at it. It took her a long time to realize she was doing herself harm by trying to fit the mold. Eventually, she decided it was perfectly OK to do what she enjoyed which was knitting scarves. She loves scarves! So, why shouldn’t she knit what she loves, just for joy?

I’d like to advocate here for a different way to perceive the full scope of contribution, and a new target to aim for that isn’t about genius, purpose, or impact.

A New Paradigm

The value of an individual cannot actually be measured in human terms. We simply don’t have the perceptive ability to see the myriad of ways in which one’s presence, let alone small acts done with great love, brings blessings and benefits to all. Maybe it’s best to stop obsessing about measuring impact and, focus instead on accepting and valuing today’s gifts.

In a sense, we’re all equal. We each have a creative imagination and the free will to use this tool as we choose. Some may manifest fine books or works of art, big businesses or vast scientific discoveries. Others may tend the raising and teaching of children, or give kindness every day to strangers as well as friends. Can we appreciate one another and ourselves as we offer what we can give today?

A new target might be simply to be and do the best we can. And cultivate gratitude for each contribution we witness. Simple gratitude keeps the gifts flowing. Wouldn’t it be a relief to recognize and relish life itself, in all its many forms? We can have a generous spirit without appraising our every move.

Please Don’t Share Your Genius

So, please, don’t jump on the bandwagon to find and share your genius unless you really want to. You may not have one genius waiting to be discovered; you may shine in many ways. It’s a trap to believe we’ve failed if we haven’t built our life on one so-called purpose. A wider viewpoint is far more inclusive of all life’s gifts. And maybe, there are times when just our beingness is enough. 

Let’s make up our own recipe for prosperity and tranquility. Whatever we enjoy, we can be it, and love it. And if sharing is necessary, it just may happen naturally.

Learn more about Coaching. Photo by Andrew George on Unsplash

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