Believe in Yourself

Lucas Glover won on the PGA tour last weekend after a ten-year drought. When asked what it took to believe in himself for that long, he answered: I knew it was in there… I never lost site in believing I could do this and win again. Probably the most gratifying thing is I proved myself right… It’s always nice to prove yourself right when you truly believe in something.

Do You Truly Believe in Yourself?

Often, if we’re honest, we do truly believe in our own talents. We know there’s an ability inside us that could flourish, “if we only had the right outer conditions.”

We may blame our upbringing, society, the political climate, climate change, or any number of external factors for not being able to bring forward our best yet.

However, we also know that the responsibility lies with us for our success, in whatever way we might define the term.

We need to invite the right conditions! So, here are three tips to set yourself up for the long-term win and prove yourself right.

Tip #1: Stop Lying to Yourself

I have to be honest. A very high percentage of the clients and students I’ve worked with over the years sell themselves way short.

They struggle with bad habits such as focusing on all their faults, tearing themselves down as they’re learning, and being far too hard on themselves.

If you’re being too hard on yourself, you’re making life harder than it needs to be.

Negative thoughts like this are actually lies. Telling yourself you’re not good enough, you’re an idiot, or you’ll never be able to breakthrough is simply not true.

Training yourself to believe bad things erodes your self-esteem from underneath. It’s time to stop that. [For a related laugh, see the SNL sketch “Stop It.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw]

Meanwhile, for heaven’s sake, don’t use un-accomplished things on your to-do list as weapons against yourself, “proving” you’re a failure.

Rather than running lies to yourself on repeat, put your attention on the truth. Write down a list of truths about yourself. What do you really know?

As an example, you’re smart, capable, and courageous. You have everything you need inside you to bring out your gift.  And if you just do your part, life will do the rest.

Tip #2: Create a Sustainable Micro-Practice

This is your part. Crafting an individualized practice to sustain you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually is your creative job.

So, where do you start?

Make it a game to discover what one thing will boost your health, happiness, peace, and joy. In fact, start with identifying what brings you joy, and you’ll have fuel to move forward on the rest.

Look for a small, sustainable micro-practice in each area. You’re not bringing perfectionism or overachievement into this exercise. As my husband often reminds me, lower the bar.

Worried about adding activities into your already full schedule? One simple practice for your health, happiness, peace, and joy doesn’t have to add time. In fact, taking something away from your schedule, or swapping out, might be the right micro-practice for you.

For example, stop reading the news for more than a brief look at the headlines. Replacing that news media time with listening to an uplifting song every day can raise your spirits and set a happy groove.

Or, practice deeper breathing every time you answer an email. This slows your pace and even helps you communicate better.

Your personal joy habit may take more time investment, like that walk with your dog, or a weekend away. But, it might be as easy as buying yourself flowers from the grocery store, a trip you were going to make anyway.

Yes, you’ll expand to longer practices over time. But never underestimate the power of the micro-practice.

Tip #3: Have Absolute Patience

I once attended a talk by a spiritual teacher who offered four tips to smooth our way in life. He ended with what he said should have been first (but he put it last so the audience would remember).

Have absolute patience, he said, because you’re gonna need it.

I’ve remembered that tip—and the humor that came with it—many times since. While impatience makes life a lot harder, patience makes life easier. It’s that simple.

Most of our energy drain comes from being reactive to things we don’t like: a perceived slight from a friend, a choice our partner or boss makes that we really disagree with, or the injustices of the world.

We get frustrated, upset, even outraged. Our bodies, emotions, and thoughts balloon with inflammation. No wonder there are more kinds of inflammatory disease in the world than any other.

Instead, find what works for you to calm the flames. Quiet down. Only then can you see your way to a better response, if one is even necessary.

Prove Yourself Right

What gift is inside you that no one else yet knows about?

If the very best inside you is struggling to get out, or you want to upgrade your job, health, or relationships, set the goal of proving yourself right.

To prove yourself right, you don’t need to believe in yourself 100%. You only need to believe your desire or goal is possible.

Discover how the shift to telling yourself the truth strengthens you in the short term, and builds much-needed self-trust for the long term.

Watch how micro-practices build momentum, as they become a part of your routine and your character.

And the next time you find yourself waiting, enjoy it as an opportunity to develop absolute patience. Cause you’re gonna need it. 🙂

Are you in a life transition? Learn more about coaching here.
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash