Unconditional self-love has been knocking at my door.
A dear friend recently shared a photo of the newly painted pink door on their Victorian-style home in Leicester, England. I thought it a wonderful, bold choice, and quite amazing that her husband picked the color. Neighbors have begun commenting, and I have no doubt that, at the very least, the pink door will inspire conversation.
Only later did I make a connection with how Life has been coaching me to open doors to love in new ways. I’ve been drawn to the deep shade of pink associated with unconditional love; I’ve been guided to envision a tele-seminar on self-love; and, I’ve seen how the presence of this one quality is more transformative and lasting than any other I might bring to my client sessions. Love is, after all, the essence of any fine craftsmanship or truly giving work in the world.
Perhaps it’s cultural that we’ve been duped into believing that self-love and narcissism ring the same bell. They don’t. One is the beginning of all healing, connection, truth and service. The other engenders only suffering. Unconditional self-love means being able to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly within us—fearlessly and shamelessly. We are beings of Light who have, at times, misunderstood the universe. In our misconception of love, we’ve acted out of fear or pain, anger or undue attachment to material things. Then, Life needed to teach us better. Not punish, just teach. We’re learning.
A while back, I watched an attentive, devoted father teach his pink-helmeted daughter how to ride her pink bike on a paved path adjacent to the Hudson River. She’d gotten past the training wheel stage, and he was coaching her to keep pedaling to maintain two-wheeled balance. When she got up to speed, he would jog along side her, quietly cheering her on. After perhaps 50 feet, she’d get scared, put on the brakes, and wobble to a stop. Dad would acknowledge her success, and then begin building up her courage to try again. Even though she judged herself as “failing,” he never faltered in his steady, patient clarity—you’ve done it, and you can do it more.
This is the message I keep sending myself. You’re doing great. Just keep peddling. If you’re afraid, it’s OK to stop, regroup, and try again. I’m jogging right beside you.
There is no more potent voice than our own, speaking to ourselves. We have the power to protect, heal, nurture or encourage. We can build up or we can destroy. And thus we create our world, moment by moment, choice by choice—with our voice.