sweet dog resting on couch

Learning How to Rest

We all know how important it is to get enough rest. Not just sleep, which can be restful or fitful, but a deep restoration that comes from releasing tensions, worries, and concerns. Is there a process for learning how to rest that deeply?

Without rest, I find myself restless. A kind of low-grade buzz or anxiety creeps in, telling me the world is too overwhelming a place for me to find peace. The harshest news stories can capture my attention.

At that moment, I must remember that I’m in charge of my mental and emotional state. I need to turn off input, let go of chaos, fear or aggression and invite calm, quiet and rest.

Here’s a three-step process I found effective in reaching a deeper restful state. I’d love to hear what works for you.

One: Preparing for Rest

Many of us seem to need permission to rest. Isn’t that shocking? Maybe we feel irresponsible taking time to rejuvenate. A friend living abroad once reflected on American culture. He said it’s like living in perpetual springtime where new things always have to be breaking ground. Right?

For me, preparing for rest is essential. I can gear up as fast as a Porsche, but slowing down is much more challenging. I have to consciously choose to gear down.

Now, I drive a standard transmission car. So as an exercise when sitting or lying down to rest, I close my eyes and picture myself downshifting. I feel the car slow to a crawl. This quiets my revved up internal engine in preparation for rest or sleep.

Certain low-key activities serve a similar purpose, downshifting me from high activity to quietude. Cooking decelerates me because I double the estimated time recommended for any recipe.

Curiously, my husband gears down watching well made action TV shows (with aliens, of course). He tolerates fight scenes that cause my muscles to grip.

This preparation step simply acknowledges the need for a transition time from high to low rhythm. We each have our way to begin.

Two: Sliding Deeper into Rest

Once we’ve begun to slow our pace, sliding into rest may require a willingness to let tensions go.

As an example, Yin yoga requires longer duration in each pose. The final corpse pose (yeah, great name) suggests a heaviness, a sinking into the support from the floor. [My favorite online yin yoga teacher is Brittany Timberlake of Timberlake Yoga]

Another way to slide deeper is through music. Humans are very susceptible and sensitive to sound. The backtrack playing inside an army tank is just as effective to the goal of destruction as a lullaby is to the intention of sleep. We need only explore a bit to find the sound that relaxes us.

As a kid at camp, I sang my bunkmates to sleep. I learned guitar at a young age to bring peace to a warlike environment. Chanting is a common spiritual practice to induce a restful state because external sounds are powerful in shifting our rhythm.

Would you like to experiment with these techniques or explore your own? Alternatively, you could live in a hammock. 😄

Three: The Profound Restful State

For those who crave the deepest dive, surrender into silence brings a whole new level of rest. I find this practice requires trust. What starts as silence becomes a tuning-in to my own internal music.

To reach this next level, I start by experiencing my thoughts as ocean waves that start out fierce and choppy. Gradually, as I watch the waves, I allow them to calm. Not by force, but by invitation.

Then, I gently listen for internal sounds. I often hear a buzzing like a high electrical wire, or music like a flute or woodwinds. I’m sure we’re unique in what we perceive when in this deeper place.

No matter what, I awaken profoundly refreshed.

Sustainable Living Through Rest

Learning how to rest is vital for sustainability in our times. Allowing for a gradual shift, like from bold color to pastel, may help us relax into the process. Then, we can slide more deeply by degrees into profound states of inner sound and silence. I’m ready for a nap just writing this.😄

If you’re inspired by reading these steps, please share with others. You may want to ask how they find rest. And if you’d like, leave comment below.

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Beyond Burnout: Your Exit

Burnout signals a need for realignment in how you do work. Yet, if you’re poised on the edge of leaving your job, you may be too crispy fried to even look at an exit strategy.

When you’re overwhelmed or exhausted, considering an exit is, in itself, an act of courage.

Maybe you feel you don’t have a choice. A vision or dream won’t let you go. Or, you can’t tolerate the pace or company culture of your day-to-day grind. What do you do then?

If you choose to surround yourself with support and take the big leap, this may help.

What to Expect in Phase One

Wouldn’t it be lovely if your transition lands you in a parallel reality—one where you enjoy your lucrative life’s work?

It’s not exactly magic, but a significant shift does happen when you leave a good-paying but ill-suited job for an uncertain future.

At first, it may feel like floating. You don’t quite know what to do with yourself. I notice with clients that this untethered feeling passes naturally and fairly quickly.

An essential step is setting a clear intention for joyful, sustainable work. Even if you don’t have a future vision yet, this simple focus can carry you for a while.

Your daily attention shifts. You spend time exploring new opportunities, tending previously neglected chores and relationships, or even recovering from burnout.

It’s OK to give yourself permission, space, and time for a smooth transition in this phase.

 A Beyond Burnout Exit Story

A brilliant Millennial, whom I’ll call Ruby, came to coaching burned out from her high-paying but soul-draining job in the tech industry. Her decision to be true to herself and leave her job ushered in transition phase one.

Ruby began to unwind and recover from burnout while making plans to move out of state. The move would provide a supportive community.

We began exploring her options in the non-profit sector and clarifying her long-term goals in writing and art. A part-time job more aligned with her values would fuel a full transformation to her life’s work.

Ruby is in phase one of her transition beyond burnout. She’s already so much happier! She shifted her pace and restructured daily life in harmony with her natural rhythm.

Finding joy, humor, and play again enlivened her sense of adventure.

Support to Exit

We often crave freedom when leaving a day job that no longer suits us. If that’s you, play with the possibility that you can gather support and exit. If you’d like to chat with someone about your options, I’m here for a free Clarity Conversation.

I love the Rumi quote, Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.

Does it make you wonder what you’d do if you knew that to be true?

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Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash