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How to Scale Your Game

by Emma Laurence

Bill is an advanced pickleball player who knows how to scale his game. When he joined our intermediate level group on the court, I’d never experienced a more generous player.

We don’t often mix with advanced players because they take the game very seriously. Much of the laughter we enjoy is lost. A few prefer to join in our games even if it means scaling their game because, in their words, “it’s more fun and less mean.”

To appreciate a musical metaphor, listen for a moment to a simple C major scale—to the up and down direction (30 sec).

American culture is all about scaling up—bigger, better, greater, faster. This can burn us out. Yet, just like in music, scaling is the ability to play up and down the resonant range.

Bill’s choice to slow his pace and calm the intensity of his game is like moving down the scale. Rather than forcefully slam the ball, he uses a lighter-touch accuracy. This models how to make better split-second decisions on the court by choosing precision over power.

Opting to slow down or decrease our intensity in life or at work is not lowering standards. It’s learning finesse. When we’re not driven by a need to prove ourselves, we’re freer to enjoy moving up or down the scale to suit a situation.

Riding the full scale requires listening, paying attention to others, and adjusting. We do this when we break things down into smaller steps for ourselves and our team, or parent a small child. Great teachers consistently scale, tailoring curriculum to their students’ comprehension.

So, let’s scale up when that’s required. And let’s consider when it’s more beneficial to ride down the scale—slower, easier, gentler, simpler, and perhaps more precise.

Is there a situation in your life where you could benefit by scaling your game? Could you benefit someone else by doing so?

Flexibility is the key to success. Remember the musical scale.

That is living as music.

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If you or someone you know needs help learning to scale, check out the illustrated Beyond Burnout Playbook. Downloadable for free.

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Find Your Rhythm. Harmonize with your heart.

Burnout Support

Until You Can Exit, Embrace the Pace

by Emma Laurence

If you’re burned out at work but can’t exit yet, embrace the pace and navigate your environment in a healthier way.

You may know your job is unsustainable. The pressure is too intense, or leadership is not aligned with your values. You wonder if you’ve outgrown what once seemed an ideal opportunity.

You’ve contemplated, or even begun crafting, an exit plan.

But for financial or other reasons, it’s just not wise to leave right now. You can feel the timing is off and, much as you want to move on, you have to finish the cycle.

At the same time, you’re tired of feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and a victim of your negative work environment. You want be in the driver’s seat until you reach that exit ramp.

Rather than resist the current chaos or dwell on your despair, consider this short-term approach with a long-term benefit:

Today, you can begin learning to master your personal pace—a skill that will serve you no matter where you go next.

A Common Challenge

Learning how to gear up your physical, emotional, and mental energy is challenging!

Maybe you’ve had a lovely weekend or vacation. You’ve gotten some rest, enjoyed what lights you up, spent time with those you love. Now you need to shift into high gear for a demanding work week.

A common trajectory is: spiral downward into Sunday anxiety, struggle with a restless night, lean into caffeine and sugar the next morning, and hope for the best. 😃

Highly-skilled and well-meaning workers often live in inner conflict, struggling with a job that doesn’t fit. Even with the best intentions, a burnout lifestyle seems hard to avoid.

However, using your creativity to remain in alignment with your rhythm is a key practice for life beyond burnout.

Why not start learning now?

Embrace the Pace with Creativity

A client with high emotional intelligence recently shared her need for a “harder shell” at work. Without closing her heart down, she wants protection from the intense pressure—including productivity demands, office politics, and other peoples’ worries.

As a coach, I often use the words my clients speak to help them design and test out an imaginative technique. This is a powerful way to take charge of our inner state in tense environments.

Creativity and playfulness ease stress. So, we get curious: what has a harder shell? A turtle, a medieval soldier, a mollusk. What provides protection? Bones encase the spinal cord; thick stone walls safeguard a castle; a bodyguard provides security and prevents threats.

See where we’re going here? Give it a try.

Picture yourself putting on a kind of protective gear. Step into a suit of armor or visualize a bodyguard standing beside you. I’ve imagined a black jaguar walking beside me, or sitting in sphinx position near my desk. The image serves as a reminder that I’m not alone in times of need.

Your conscious practice of imagination is key to lowering your stress level and taking charge of the situation, allowing you to remain intact in a fast-paced environment.

Literally craft what you need. Strength? Imagine yourself lifting weights. Courage? See yourself facing your nemesis without blinking. Endurance? Feel yourself smile at the end of a day as you finish work with energy to spare.

I know this is easier said than done. It’s in daily practice that victory is won.

If You Have to Wear a Mask

If you feel the need to wear a mask, to be someone different to survive at work, take a tip from theater. Until you find the workplace where you can be yourself, consciously create a character.

A client of mine had to fill in for her boss at a meeting—an usual request in her company. Her boss got along well with his colleagues, and she felt she wasn’t good enough to represent the department.

To overcome her fear, I helped her create a character she was excited to play. This character (really a version of herself) was completely confident, at ease meeting new people and speaking up in the group.

She dressed a little differently that day—slightly taller shoes, added a scarf—wearing a bit of a costume. Courageously, she stepped in to that confident role, wondering if she could pull it off.

It worked! She introduced herself to people she hadn’t met and spoke up to share ideas. Through this persona, she engaged an aspect of herself that she hadn’t been able to access.

Stepping into a role you’ve created puts you in charge. You know you’re playing a game. You stay in integrity with yourself—the version of “you” that can master every possible situation.

Your Exit Ramp

Creative techniques allow you to finish out a work cycle on your own terms. It’s grueling to resent the energy demands required. So be playful, laugh about it, and love yourself through to the end.

Sooner than later, your clearly-marked exit will appear. You’ll be done. You’ll welcome the pause that transitions you to a fully sustainable, inspired life beyond burnout.

The Beyond Burnout Playbook (free and downloadable) gives you five keys to crossing that threshold at your own pace. Burnout isn’t all bad! Learn how to shift your perspective, try out some exercises, and have fun with the process.

If you’d like help planning your exit strategy and creating a life beyond burnout, I’m here with a free Clarity Conversation.

And if someone you know wants to make a change at work, please forward this blog. There’s always a way beyond burnout!
💜Emma

Photo by Sammy Wong on Unsplash

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sweet dog resting on couch
Burnout Support

Learning How to Rest

by Emma Laurence

We all know how important it is to get enough rest. Not just sleep, which can be restful or fitful, but a deep restoration that comes from releasing tensions, worries, and concerns. Is there a process for learning how to rest that deeply?

Without rest, I find myself restless. A kind of low-grade buzz or anxiety creeps in, telling me the world is too overwhelming a place for me to find peace. The harshest news stories can capture my attention.

At that moment, I must remember that I’m in charge of my mental and emotional state. I need to turn off input, let go of chaos, fear or aggression and invite calm, quiet and rest.

Here’s a three-step process I found effective in reaching a deeper restful state. I’d love to hear what works for you.

One: Preparing for Rest

Many of us seem to need permission to rest. Isn’t that shocking? Maybe we feel irresponsible taking time to rejuvenate. A friend living abroad once reflected on American culture. He said it’s like living in perpetual springtime where new things always have to be breaking ground. Right?

For me, preparing for rest is essential. I can gear up as fast as a Porsche, but slowing down is much more challenging. I have to consciously choose to gear down.

Now, I drive a standard transmission car. So as an exercise when sitting or lying down to rest, I close my eyes and picture myself downshifting. I feel the car slow to a crawl. This quiets my revved up internal engine in preparation for rest or sleep.

Certain low-key activities serve a similar purpose, downshifting me from high activity to quietude. Cooking decelerates me because I double the estimated time recommended for any recipe.

Curiously, my husband gears down watching well made action TV shows (with aliens, of course). He tolerates fight scenes that cause my muscles to grip.

This preparation step simply acknowledges the need for a transition time from high to low rhythm. We each have our way to begin.

Two: Sliding Deeper into Rest

Once we’ve begun to slow our pace, sliding into rest may require a willingness to let tensions go.

As an example, Yin yoga requires longer duration in each pose. The final corpse pose (yeah, great name) suggests a heaviness, a sinking into the support from the floor. [My favorite online yin yoga teacher is Brittany Timberlake of Timberlake Yoga]

Another way to slide deeper is through music. Humans are very susceptible and sensitive to sound. The backtrack playing inside an army tank is just as effective to the goal of destruction as a lullaby is to the intention of sleep. We need only explore a bit to find the sound that relaxes us.

As a kid at camp, I sang my bunkmates to sleep. I learned guitar at a young age to bring peace to a warlike environment. Chanting is a common spiritual practice to induce a restful state because external sounds are powerful in shifting our rhythm.

Would you like to experiment with these techniques or explore your own? Alternatively, you could live in a hammock. 😄

Three: The Profound Restful State

For those who crave the deepest dive, surrender into silence brings a whole new level of rest. I find this practice requires trust. What starts as silence becomes a tuning-in to my own internal music.

To reach this next level, I start by experiencing my thoughts as ocean waves that start out fierce and choppy. Gradually, as I watch the waves, I allow them to calm. Not by force, but by invitation.

Then, I gently listen for internal sounds. I often hear a buzzing like a high electrical wire, or music like a flute or woodwinds. I’m sure we’re unique in what we perceive when in this deeper place.

No matter what, I awaken profoundly refreshed.

Sustainable Living Through Rest

Learning how to rest is vital for sustainability in our times. Allowing for a gradual shift, like from bold color to pastel, may help us relax into the process. Then, we can slide more deeply by degrees into profound states of inner sound and silence. I’m ready for a nap just writing this.😄

If you’re inspired by reading these steps, please share with others. You may want to ask how they find rest. And if you’d like, leave comment below.

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Burnout Support

Beyond Burnout: Your Exit

by Emma Laurence

Burnout signals a need for realignment in how you do work. Yet, if you’re poised on the edge of leaving your job, you may be too crispy fried to even look at an exit strategy.

When you’re overwhelmed or exhausted, considering an exit is, in itself, an act of courage.

Maybe you feel you don’t have a choice. A vision or dream won’t let you go. Or, you can’t tolerate the pace or company culture of your day-to-day grind. What do you do then?

If you choose to surround yourself with support and take the big leap, this may help.

What to Expect in Phase One

Wouldn’t it be lovely if your transition lands you in a parallel reality—one where you enjoy your lucrative life’s work?

It’s not exactly magic, but a significant shift does happen when you leave a good-paying but ill-suited job for an uncertain future.

At first, it may feel like floating. You don’t quite know what to do with yourself. I notice with clients that this untethered feeling passes naturally and fairly quickly.

An essential step is setting a clear intention for joyful, sustainable work. Even if you don’t have a future vision yet, this simple focus can carry you for a while.

Your daily attention shifts. You spend time exploring new opportunities, tending previously neglected chores and relationships, or even recovering from burnout.

It’s OK to give yourself permission, space, and time for a smooth transition in this phase.

 A Beyond Burnout Exit Story

A brilliant Millennial, whom I’ll call Ruby, came to coaching burned out from her high-paying but soul-draining job in the tech industry. Her decision to be true to herself and leave her job ushered in transition phase one.

Ruby began to unwind and recover from burnout while making plans to move out of state. The move would provide a supportive community.

We began exploring her options in the non-profit sector and clarifying her long-term goals in writing and art. A part-time job more aligned with her values would fuel a full transformation to her life’s work.

Ruby is in phase one of her transition beyond burnout. She’s already so much happier! She shifted her pace and restructured daily life in harmony with her natural rhythm.

Finding joy, humor, and play again enlivened her sense of adventure.

Support to Exit

We often crave freedom when leaving a day job that no longer suits us. If that’s you, play with the possibility that you can gather support and exit. If you’d like to chat with someone about your options, I’m here for a free Clarity Conversation.

I love the Rumi quote, Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.

Does it make you wonder what you’d do if you knew that to be true?

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Photo by Elliott Stallion on Unsplash