Don't Go Back—Go Forward!

Covid changed everything, one Millennial businesswoman told me this week. How do we not return to our old patterns? asked another. And what’s the new toolset? added a third. When I replied, you mean, don’t go back—go forward? the answer was a resounding yes! Here’s how that’s possible.

The Gift of Covid-19

If Covid changed your priorities, or awakened a dream in you, this is your call to move forward in a new way. For all the challenges a world pandemic brings, the opportunity is just as great.

Change leads to re-discovery of our deepest values, priorities, and dreams. Can we allow the rubble at our feet to disintegrate and welcome new building materials? If so, we can craft a tailor-made life that’s far better than the old.

A Tailor-Made Life

What are these new building materials? In working with hundreds of students and clients over years, I’ve identified three elements that make for an easier transition from old to new—commitment, pace, and disciplined practice. These elements, when they arise from within, not only provide a smooth transition, they actually reveal the new structure.

Let’s look at each one separately, so you can gauge where you’re at now, and find your next step.

#1: Commitment

Have you identified what matters most to you in your life? If not, commit to this as your first inquiry. But, if you know what’s on your short list, you’re ready to look at the level of commitment you’re willing to invest.

Now, Millennials having trouble with commitment is a popular judgment, even within members of their own generation. I don’t buy the stereotype. The Millennials I’ve worked with for decades as a teacher, director, and coach are very committed to their dreams. Every generation has its stars and its slackers.

The commitment question is simply what are you willing to give for what you want to get? Each of us has freedom to choose how much time, money, energy, and love we want to give to a project.

Dreams are the kind of projects that bring joy to even think about—a sure sign our hearts want to invest. Joy is the fuel of commitment. Start with joy and you’ll find out where you really stand.

#2: Pace

Once you know what you’re willing to give or not, you can align with a long-term view of how to manifest that dream. Short-term, full-throttle energy as a lifestyle always leads to burnout. That’s one of those don’t go back habits.

Our quality of life depends more on pace than nearly any other factor. Why? Most of us bought into a cultural illusion that faster is always better. Frantic striving to keep up a social media image, an overstuffed work schedule, and an out-of-balance personal to-do list only prove you’ve bought into someone else’s pace. And that robs you of your joy.

Faster is not always better. Life is a wave—sometimes fast, sometimes slow—that we can ride. We don’t need the anxious, panicked sprint anymore. That’s another one of those don’t go back habits.

Instead, discover your true, healthy pace—and trust it. Trust life to bring you what you need. Yes, you can learn how to cultivate trust.

#3 Disciplined Practices

The best definition of discipline I ever heard was from David Campbell, founder of Saks Fifth Avenue. He said, discipline is remembering what you want.

Our daily, weekly, and monthly practices are where the rubber meets the road. To build a new structure, we must be willing to establish those practices that provide the stability and the grace for change.

What are your practices? What diet, exercise, work/life balance, relationships, hobbies, or spiritual explorations will support the new vision? Remember, even if you can’t yet see that vision, you can still engage the disciplines that will carry you through the transition time.

Joyful practices are easy. Every time I get in a kayak or on a bike, I feel joy. It’s exercise, but I’m not grinding at it. Sometimes when I do a vocal warm-up, though, I have to remember I want to get my singing voice back in shape. For that result, I must put in technical work.