If I had a bucket list, I would have crossed off a top item this week—being in the presence of Dr. Edith Eva Eger. The 90-year-old holocaust survivor, clinical psychologist, and extraordinary soul is the author of The Choice: Embrace the Possible—a book Desmond Tutu called A gift to humanity. One of those rare and eternal stories that leaves you forever changed. I know that was true for me.
Dr. Eger spoke to students at The Horace Mann School with a message to take any situation and look for the gift. Auschwitz was about discovery, she said. I had to find some way to flow and stay in the situation. I created a part in me that no Nazi could ever touch. I bring you that spirit today, to find a gift in everything; and, I’m telling you about Auschwitz as an opportunity. It was an opportunity for me to discover my inner resources, the strength that I have within me.
At their age, Dr. Eger had been named to the Hungarian Olympic team as a dancer and gymnast, then expelled for being a Jew. Shortly thereafter, she and her family were taken by cattle car to the concentration camp. Her mother gave young Edith a gift on their journey to the unknown, one that ultimately shaped her survival: we don’t know where we’re going or what is going to happen to us, but no one can take away from you what you put in your mind.
Edith often put in her mind the memory of Eric, the man she’d planned to marry, telling her she had beautiful eyes and beautiful hands. And when Dr. Mengele came around to identify the talented ones (the other girls pushed her forward), Edith closed her eyes and imagined Tchaikovsky’s Romeo & Juliet Overture. With full focus, she danced for the man who’d sent her parents to the gas chamber—a choice that saved her life and the lives of others.
How do you cope with the unexpected and unanticipated? Dr. Eger asked the students. The biggest concentration camp is in your own mind—and you can find the key in your pocket. Then she shared this story.
One day, in yet another line to determine her fate, Edith reached the guard who was to tattoo her arm. He pushed her away saying he didn’t want to waste ink on her. About to be separated from her sister, Edith got creative. You see survivors have to be quick decision makers, she said. On the way to the gas chamber, I saw my sister in one part, and I was in another part, so I looked at the guard and I began to do cartwheels—and my sister ended up with me.
As Dr. Eger travels the world to speak with students, she brings generosity, humor and grace. She models self-love and self-care. She is free and selflessly giving. My book is about you, she says. I came here to celebrate you.